Pedestal
"When you put someone on a pedestal, they have no choice but to look down on you."
The author calls this the most important rule he's learned for dating, socialising and everything else.
Why it matters
Relationships where one person looks up to the other are less satisfying, in both directions. Relationships between equals work better. People pick up on it even if they couldn't say why. It may be why you always end up starting the conversations and making the plans while others rarely reach out.
How to stop
"Stop putting people on a pedestal" is easy advice that rarely comes with a how. The method:
- See people as whole people, with strengths and flaws.
- Value them as "just another person, like me".
That builds confidence while keeping you modest, and makes relationships healthier.
It's still good to have role models who motivate you. Just admire them as equals rather than placing them above you.
If both people put each other on a pedestal, they're back to looking at each other from the same height, which is the goal anyway.
See also
Summary of a post originally shared on Reddit's r/seduction (2014).