Indicators of Interest

An indicator of interest (IOI) is a sign that she's attracted to you. The most important idea on this page: watch for changes in her behaviour, not the behaviour itself.

Six key signs

1. Closeness: Does she move closer, lean in while you talk, or mirror you (sipping her drink when you do)? Even small moves count, and the more obvious the move, the stronger the interest.
2. How she responds to touch: When your hands brush, does she relax into it or pull away? The more comfortable she is with light, casual contact, the better the sign. See How to Touch a Women.
3. Eye contact: Attention is precious. If she's spending it on you rather than her phone, she's interested. See Eye Contact.
4. Playing with her hair, more than usual: Lots of women touch their hair out of habit. What counts is an increase, especially combined with eye contact.
5. Getting chattier: Some women are naturally talkative, which is why so many men misread friendliness. A woman who becomes more talkative around you is showing interest.
6. Wanting more time with you: Going to the bar with you, suggesting another place, staying when her friends move on. Anything that extends your time together is a strong sign.

Focus on the change

Most misreads come from judging behaviour in absolute terms:

"She was all over me on the dance floor, then left with her friends."
"We talked for an hour, then she said she has a boyfriend."

If that's how she is with everyone, it means little. A woman who dances half-heartedly with her friends but lights up with you is giving a far stronger signal than one who's "all over" everyone.

More signs to watch for

Her body, and especially her feet, point toward you even with other people around.
She touches you while talking, even just a hand on your arm.
She adjusts her appearance: smooths her hair, fixes her top, reapplies lipstick, plays with jewellery.
She holds eye contact with a soft smile, or glances down shyly when your eyes meet (if you hold your gaze).
Open body language: shoulders back, arms uncrossed.
She sits up or perks up when you give her attention.
She leans toward you or steps into your personal space.
She touches her own neck or collarbone while talking to you.
She mirrors your posture or gestures.
She plays with a straw or similar while looking at you.

No single sign proves anything. Look for several together, and for change over time.

Six key signs

Focus on the change

More signs to watch for

See also