Shit Tests 101
What shit tests (fitness tests) really are, and the main ways to handle them.
They're usually flirting
Women rarely bother testing men they have no interest in, so a test is often a good sign. Many are rapport breaks: a playful mock show of disinterest to see if you can play back. Responding in kind shows you're socially sharp and emotionally steady, someone who won't fall apart at the first sign of friction. Most men either get defensive or give in. Matching her energy is the core of flirting.
Six ways to respond
- Agree and amplify (to absurdity). The usual best option: fun, non-reactive and hard to get wrong. See Common Shit Tests for examples.
- Change the subject.
- Ignore it completely.
- Pressure flip. Answer instantly and bounce the question back, so the spotlight lands on her. "What car do you drive?" "A-blue-hatchback-what-about-you?"
- Command respect. For ongoing disrespect (nagging, put-downs), stay calm and name it: "That's disrespectful, and I'm not okay with it." No anger, just a clear boundary. This protects your frame.
- The cold shoulder. The author's "nuclear option" for someone deliberately trying to humiliate you, not flirting: make clear you're simply not interested in her. Use it rarely. It's meant to end things, not to win.
The "unshakeable man" view
David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man explains tests differently: a woman tests a man to feel that he's grounded, present and not dependent on her approval. In his example, a man comes home thrilled about a big success and his partner brushes it off and asks about an errand he forgot. The idea is that she isn't trying to hurt him. She wants to feel that his happiness doesn't hinge on her reaction. The response is the same as above: don't collapse. Stay warm, playful and steady, and move the moment forward.
See also
Summary of a post originally shared on Reddit's r/TheRedPill, with a summarised passage from David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man".