Meditation
Why meditation helps with the problems covered on this wiki (attachment, ego, anxiety, neediness), and a simple guide to starting.
What it helps you let go of
- Attachment
- Buddhism teaches that attachment causes suffering, because we fear losing what we cling to. Everything is impermanent: seasons, friendships, relationships, life itself. Meditation helps you accept that and find peace in the present. Fixating on one woman (see oneitis) is attachment in action.
- Ego
- A big but fragile ego makes you afraid to try, fail or finish things, so you procrastinate and polish forever.
- Past and future
- Dwelling on old mistakes drags you down; fantasising about the future steals your ability to act now; dreading it creates anxiety.
- Outcome dependence
- Accepting whatever happens, including rejection, keeps you in a relaxed, amused frame.
- Stress
- Living in constant low-level fight-or-flight hurts both your social life and your body's ability to recover.
The author meditated 2–3 hours a day for four months, two of them living with monks. One change he noticed: his voice used to tighten and rise as tension built up through the day. Afterwards it stayed deep and grounded.
How to meditate
Based on advice from a long-time practitioner who learned from monks:
- No aids. No music or audio tracks. Just a quiet place where you won't be disturbed.
- Posture. Sit cross-legged (half or full lotus) or kneel (seiza), with a cushion under your hips if needed. Rest your right hand on your left, thumbs touching. Spine straight but relaxed, ears over shoulders.
- Body awareness. Close your eyes and scan your body: where is it tense, relaxed, warm, cold, sore? Notice that you're breathing.
- Watch your thoughts. Treat your mind like a screen. Thoughts arrive and fade on their own; they only linger when you engage with them. Just notice how busy the mind is.
- Breath focus (ānāpānasati). Don't control the breath. Watch it, perhaps at the tip of your nose:
- Notice its four stages: in, pause, out, pause. The mind quietens in the pauses, which lengthen with practice.
- Notice how cool air comes in and warm air goes out.
- With time the breath becomes smooth and continuous.
- Daily beats long. 15 minutes every day beats two hours once a week. Expect results within weeks.
- Deeper states. With practice you may reach states of deep absorption and calm (samādhi), often when you fully let go. A good session leaves you alert and bright, never dull or low.
Practise for its own sake, with an attitude of letting go and compassion, not just for the benefits. If it helps, consider a 10-day meditation retreat.
See also
Summary of a post originally shared on Reddit's r/TheRedPill, including meditation instructions from another user.