Guide to Dominance

Dominance is a relationship between two people in a particular area: one consistently wins, so the other stops competing. This page explains how it forms, how to recognise it, and why it is so attractive.

How dominance forms

Picture two monkeys competing for fruit. The first few times they fight, and the same one wins. Soon the loser gives way at a glance, and eventually without even that. That's a stable dominance relationship, settled by past results rather than constant conflict.

Hierarchies

If A dominates B and B dominates C, you get a hierarchy. Armies and companies are deep hierarchies with formal signs of rank such as salutes and titles. Friend groups are shallow ones. Hierarchies stay stable when everyone gains from them. A good leader develops the people under him and learns from those above him.

Dominance among people

Among humans, dominance is rarely settled by force. It depends on the arena: one friend dominates on strength, another at poker, another with women. Some men dominate in the most visible areas, or in several at once, and they're seen as the group's leader.

How it's earned

Dominance comes from competing and winning repeatedly, ideally being so far ahead that nobody challenges you (like a pro golfer with amateurs).
Part of it is judgement: compete when you're likely to win, and back down when you're not. The narrower your area of uncertainty, the better.
Winning tends to raise testosterone; losing lowers it.

Signs of dominance

The clearest sign is how others defer:

People rise or smile when you arrive.
They listen without interrupting.
In a pause, heads turn to you to see if you'll speak.
When you act, attention shifts to you.

Dominance and attraction

According to the author, nothing attracts women more. A clearly dominant man gets warm openings, easy yeses and few tests. Many Red Pill ideas (pre-selection, leading, having options, staying calm, a frame nobody can shake) are really side effects of dominance.

How to apply it

Not everyone can dominate everything. Pick a mission and work at it relentlessly for years.
Don't make submissive gestures early on. Let others smile first, and return it.
Lead with your strengths. Respond to challenges by not reacting.
Save compliments as rewards for good behaviour rather than handing them out when you first meet someone.