Strong Identity

How to deliberately shape the image other people have of you, in seven phases. The idea: being attractive works better than saying attractive things, and a well-built image keeps working for you even when you're not in the room (the halo effect).

Most men think a gym membership, new shoes and a haircut are enough, and leave the rest to chance. Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power (law 25, "Re-create yourself") argues your image is too important to leave to chance. Honesty and congruence still come first: this is about presenting who you really are, coherently.

Phase 1: Write a blueprint

Goal: a clear, lasting vision of your lifestyle, and the changes needed to live it.

List the things you look forward to (hobbies, work you'd love to be paid for) and look for the theme. Artist? Adventurer? Traveller? Build around three ideas:

Who you are: an identity worth discovering. Break stereotypes; aim to be exceptional.
What you do very well: a real, specific skill. Even juggling shows you can learn and master things.
How you look doing it: your style and quirks. It's fine to be a bit strange within the context.

Think of it as a story with a setup (where you came from and what shaped you), characters (the groups and interests you lead or drive) and a climax (the big thing you're working toward). Keep it separate from your deeper purpose, which should never depend on what others think. Redraft as often as you need; the longer you stick with one version, the stronger it gets.

Phase 2: Commit to the lifestyle

Goal: become a capable, visible participant in your niche.

Be genuinely competent at it.
Have the people skills to get others to join you.
Be happy doing it alone. Some of the best hours are solo.
Actually enjoy it. People can tell when you're going through the motions.

Phase 3: Let people glimpse it

Goal: let others discover your lifestyle through curiosity and imagination.

Use social media, photos or a blog, but lightly. Over-sharing looks manufactured and leaves nothing to imagine. Show moments rather than facts: a photo of a winding road says more about loving motorcycles than a photo of the bike.

Phase 4: Get indirect feedback

Goal: fine-tune the image.

Friends are too kind and strangers lack context. Online communities with both insiders and outsiders work well. Criticism is aimed at the image, not at you.

Phase 5: Organise your life around it

Goal: make it a habit.

Block out regular time and budget for it, or everyday tasks will crowd it out. Repetition makes it easier and cheaper.

Phase 6: Invite others in

Goal: let others spread the image for you.

Invite everyone, but invest in the people who genuinely care. Hangers-on drift off.
Let the image evolve, but within your blueprint.
Be willing to drop an identity that has outlived its purpose, even if others want to keep you in a box.

Phase 7: Enjoy the results

Let the image do its work without endlessly polishing it. Showing off is fine if it's an invitation, not a plea for approval. Be choosy about who you share your life with.

Pitfalls

You make the lifestyle; it doesn't make you. The car doesn't make James Bond cool. He makes the car cool.
Your image isn't your ego. Fighting over trivial slights damages it.
Don't take it too seriously. Be able to laugh at yourself.