Relationships, the Red Pill, and You
The author argues that most men unknowingly look for the wrong kind of love in relationships, and that changing it transforms how a relationship works.
Two kinds of love
According to the author, men are wired for only two types of love toward women:
- Love received from a mother
- Being validated, trusted, supported, loved "as you are", approved of. Most men unconsciously seek this from a partner. But no partner will ever love you like your mother did, and the author argues this is the root of "beta" behaviour: seeking approval, expecting endless support, putting her on a pedestal.
- Love given as a father
- Giving validation, giving trust gradually while staying in control, providing support, guiding, giving approval for good behaviour.
Compare the two lists: who gives, who takes, and who's in control. There's always control in a relationship; the question is who has it.
The "father figure" approach
The author's argument: relationships work far better when a man leads like a good father. That means not seeking her validation or permission, rewarding good behaviour, and handling her tests calmly as a parent would, rather than treating her as an authority he must please.
- This isn't "be a jerk". The author sees the cold, "asshole" approach as merely better than seeking a replacement mother.
- Given a choice between a needy boy, a jerk and a strong, warm leader, he says women choose the leader every time.
- He suggests reading parenting and even dog-training books on reward, boundaries and consistency, and reports his relationships became far calmer after making this shift.
See also
Summary of a post from the Cedonulli blog (c. 2013).
This section collects Red Pill writing for discussion; inclusion isn't endorsement.