Inner Game
Inner Game is where it is at boys. All the techniques and tactics and strategies mean nothing in the world without inner game. The funny thing about inner game, outer game comes pretty naturally when you have it. Seduction community is about utilizing outer game on command, which is why it's broken down into all its components. But you already have all of that stuff in you, you haven't been able to tap into it because of a lack of Inner Game. Personally, figuring out Inner Game is the prerequisite to Outer Game, and Outer Game is an optional learning experience to fine tune your natural skills.
Defining Inner Game
How you perceive yourself, your worth, your abilities, your strengths and weaknesses is the first and foremost important thing. How you believe others perceive you is next. Having high self-esteem is not enough. I think highly of myself but I often feel like others might not see me the way I do. This is defensive high self-esteem. Inner game is having secure high self-esteem. Defensive still need their self views to be validated by the outside world, secure does not.
Inner Game is beneficial against neediness. You don't need this girl, this lay to validate you. You're not worried she's going to find your conversation boring, that she's going to stop liking you if you're bad at something (i.e. dancing, sex), that she's going to realize you're not as awesome as she first thought you were, etc. Inner Game is beneficial against Approach Anxiety. You aren't concerned this person isn't going to like you or that they're going to react negatively to you. Outcome dependence is Inner Game realized.
Getting Inner Game
First, I want you to take these next few words to heart: You, as you are now, are enough. Stop believing that you have to be a certain kind of person to be successful with women. I am 5'8. In high school I never tipped the scale higher than 115 lbs. and in college, 125 lbs. I was a weakling. I was very frugal with my money and wasn't a fancy dresser. To this day I still don't have a driver's license. I had and still have many of the qualities of a "mr. nice guy." I didn't regularly exhibit strong body posture, I slouch a lot. I wasn't geeky, but I was definitely known as a nerd. I'm introverted. By most standards, I'm very beta. And yet, I still managed to lose my virginity at 16. From 16-20 I had sex with 6 different women, got oral sex from 2 others, and had close calls with 2 more (suffered escalation anxiety, we made out and some groping was involved but I couldn't close and ended up just sleeping over in both cases).
Second, every action of self-improvement you take needs to be done for yourself. Yesterday I saw this demoralizing thread
Im not good looking, but I'm definitely not bad looking. Im cultivated. Im smart. Im athletic with a reasonably good physique (summer i have six pack, winters not so much). I am successful at what i do. And making a living that makes me not having to think twice before going to vacation in say paris. I dress with nice clothes. Drive a nice car, wear expensive watch. Live in a nice house. I skydive, i scubadive, i bungee jump, i ski, i travel a lot, i always learn new things... Even so, i am completely hopeless with women.
Take on new hobbies, get a good job, work out in the gym and get fit, get a nice wardrobe. Do all those things, but do them because they satisfy and fulfill you, not because they'll give you topics of conversation with women or make you more attractive to women. These will likely be by-products of your self-improvement, but if they are the motivators, you're failing yourself. Remember, Inner Game is about not needing validation. I didn't put the effort forth to gain weight until I was doing it for myself and no one else.
Third, understand that Inner Game is about a mental state. Our mental states are always in a state of flux. You have good days, you have bad days. Life will knock you around. You don't achieve Inner Game and then that's it. You achieve Inner Game and then realize the things about yourself that have you there and put the effort to maintain those traits (physical and mental) to remain/get back to that mental state. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard.
TL;DR Inner Game is living w/o the need for validation. You must accept yourself for who you are, improve the things you don't like about yourself for yourself, it is going to be an ongoing battle.
Second Post
Work out, focus on your career, practice your social skills, be confident, be assertive, develop useful skills and interesting hobbies – essentially, quit wasting time. Read non-fiction more than fiction, watch less TV, play less video games, quit jerking off to porn, spend that time doing something that makes you physically, mentally, and/or socially better.
I bolded 'assertive' because it's very important. Don't be afraid of taking up space in people's lives. Walk in a room, bump, shove, squeeze, do whatever you can to get what you WANT.
Basically, know that your time is valuable. You only live once after all (#yolo). Because of this, DON'T waste your time on a girl if what you're expending on them exceeds what you get in return (basically, don't put pussy on a pedestal). This is unattractive to women and more importantly, it is a complete waste of your time and effort. VALUE YOUR LIFE AND THE TIME THAT YOU HAVE LEFT. Don't pamper women in an attempt to win them over.
Have you ever had someone constantly give you their time and effort without you asking? You may say that you 'like' them, but the truth is, you will only ever see them as a platonic relationship. As time goes by, you will lose respect for them and eventually even take their efforts for granted. This is the EXACT SAME THING that happens to the nice guys who do whatever they can to please women: They get taken for granted and taken advantage of. Do NOT be that guy. It boggles my mind when SJWs and the like, say that men should do whatever they can to improve the lives of women. I wholeheartedly disagree. And it isn't because of some skewed, fucked up morality, either. I believe men and women should have both of their lives improved... But the thing is, if your efforts on a woman simply don't yield any results, STOP doing it. Western society is becoming more and more feminized, and people are starting to value women more and more over men. Do NOT start believing that women are worth more than you men. Men and women are EQUAL in that they both deserve value. Respect yourself before you even speak to a woman, and you'll do alright.
Getting back to the issue of being taken for granted/taken advantage of, I have an example to tell you guys in my life. I recently started working at an office. There's this woman who is constantly trying to help me even when I don't ask for it. What happens? I start thinking of her as less of a person. I know this makes me sound like a complete shithead, but it's just true. I just don't have respect for her anymore. This is exactly the same thing that happens when you suck up to a girl you like. They lose respect for you. Without respect, you won't be seen as a high-value male, which is what women want. On the other hand, when I look at my boss, I have a lot of respect for him because he doesn't suck up to me.
That being said, to be respected, you have to do everything my first paragraph listed out: Be SUCCESSFUL. That's the ONLY way to gain respect. And I don't mean success simply from your career, either. I mean be successful PHYSICALLY (work out, eat well, etc.), MENTALLY (read non-fiction, watch TED Talks, learn something that betters your understanding of the world and people around you), and SOCIALLY (engage yourself in social activities, even if it's out of your norm. This broadens your circle of friends/acquaintances and ENRICHES your life with interesting people).
With all of this, there's really no need for PUA tactics (which I honestly find very superficial since it has no 'substance' behind it):
Negging? You'll naturally do it simply because you VALUE yourself. Negging essentially creates the scenario that you're valuable, that you're ABOVE someone else by throwing a cocky & funny 'insult' at them. There's no need for that shit if you're ALREADY above someone purely based on your lifestyle, career, physical health, intelligence, etc. Hell, do you EVER see high value men throw negs around? No, you see them as quiet, stoic men. After all, confidence is silent and insecurity is loud. This is because insecure people have the need to be noticed, to be heard, to be acknowledged. Confident men don't need this. They KNOW that their opinions are valued simply because their opinions are educated and well-informed. They simply have to take action (this is the better option) or say their opinion once, and it'll be understood— because people pay attention to them... And people pay attention to these men because they're RESPECTED (it goes full circle).
Kino-escalation? You'll NATURALLY do this because you're ASSERTIVE. You want sex, right? You'll slowly move your way into it.
As I was saying, kino-escalation will come naturally because of your assertiveness. You want sex, you're assertive, so you'll make it happen somehow. Now, I'm not advocating rape. Don't misunderstand me. I'm just laying out the fact that being assertive DOES get you what you want in life.
Story time. Back in high school, I (I'm Asian btw) was in a pretty 'prestigious' high school in which many Asians enrolled into because it was a 'math' school. The Asian kids I went to school with were all smart as fuck. But what they didn't have was the assertiveness required to achieve success in relationships. This was because they were taught to be successful academically... Their parents never told them anything about being in a relationship (hell, neither did mine. I just happened to have a good role model— James Bond. lol). They didn't know jack-shit about the social life. So what happened, being the type of guy I am, and the type of guys they are? I got literally most of the (Asian) girls in my large circle of friends, at some point in our high school careers, to have a crush on me. I even dated a few of them (and am still friends with them!).
"How did you do that Legit Answers?" some of the Asian guys would ask.
"I wanted her, so I just went for it."
That was my answer. And it boggled their minds. They couldn't comprehend the fact that WANTING something (because, don't get me wrong, they WANTED a girlfriend too) was different from actually DOING something about it. Now don't think I'm saying that you should forget about grades to get girls. No. That's not what I did, so technically, you shouldn't either. Good grades lead to better colleges which may lead to better career prospects. And what did I say earlier about career? Focus on it.
Now, I know there are some people out there who are going to disagree with my ideas (specifically girls), but that's mainly because women typically want to be pampered. Now, I don't blame them. Who doesn't want to be pampered? The most beautiful women you'll see around campus, work, the mall, etc. have essentially learned that just by being beautiful, men will grovel at their feet and do whatever they want. Beautiful women are USED to being pampered. Unfortunately, following my advice destroys that dream for these women. But that's okay. It's okay because what they'll get is a man who's got TONS of inner game: a man who's developed himself in every way possible. They may not like the fact that they won't get pampered as much (like when they had nice guys do anything/everything for them), but they'll be ATTRACTED to you. They'll love you for being successful in every way possible. There's nothing better than some good old fashioned hard work to be more attractive to women, after all.
I really hope this thread gets to some of you guys having trouble in the dating scene. Just know that you don't have to focus your life on getting a girlfriend. Better yourselves and the women will naturally come to you.
TL;DR: Work on yourself in every way possible: Physically, mentally and socially. Value your time and efforts: Don't waste your time and efforts on a woman if what you're expending on them exceeds what you get in return. Above all, value your self and be assertive.